


gust of a rosebush, wheat of wind

by marcaskane (noblydonedonnanoble)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4703414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noblydonedonnanoble/pseuds/marcaskane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Marcus had never been one to buy into the whole “soulmate” thing. He became increasingly certain of the unimportance of the marks when he was twenty years old and he watched his best friend fall in love.</em><br/> </p><p>Marcus and Abby have conflicting ideas about what fate has planned for them. (Canon compliant.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	gust of a rosebush, wheat of wind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [untapdtreasure](https://archiveofourown.org/users/untapdtreasure/gifts).



> I'm always a slut for soulmate AUs, but I wasn't going to write one for Kabby because you can't really beat "The fabric of the heavens."
> 
> Except then this premise came to mind and I had to write it. I hope you enjoy.

  _Maybe nothingness is to be without your presence,_  
_without you moving, slicing the noon_  
_like a blue flower, without you walking_  
_later through the fog and the cobbles,_

 _without the light you carry in your hand,_  
_golden, which maybe others will not see,_  
_which maybe no one knew was growing_  
_like the red beginnings of a rose._

 _In short, without your presence: without your coming_  
_suddenly, incitingly, to know my life,_  
_gust of a rosebush, wheat of wind:_

 _since then I am because you are,_  
_since then you are, I am, we are,_  
_and through love I will be, you will be, we'll be._

_\- Pablo Neruda_

* * *

 

           Marcus had never been one to buy into the whole “soulmate” thing. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the sound of it—he did, honest. The idea that there could be someone out there who he was _destined_ for… well, it was enough to make anyone smile, at least a little bit.

            But growing up on the Ark, he knew from an early age just now implausible the concept was. Even when Earth was at its peak population, so many people had to settle for someone who didn’t have a matching mark. For plenty of them, it didn’t even feel like settling; they found someone who made them happy and just stopped there. If they couldn’t find their soulmate among all of those people, he certainly wasn’t about to find his soulmate on the Ark.

            It wasn’t unheard of, of course. A few people found their perfect match, in stories that were passed from station to station that probably became less factual as the years went on. By the time they reached Marcus’s ears, the stories chronicled the abrupt shift in people’s lives, the way that they dropped everything for each other and experienced a happiness that was unimaginable for everyone else.

            Marcus ignored stories like that. His mom and dad hadn’t been soulmates, and they had loved each other more than anyone else he knew. That was the only proof he needed that little marks on your skin weren’t everything.

            He became increasingly certain of the unimportance of the marks when he was twenty years old and he watched his best friend fall in love.

            Jake met Abby when he went in to Medical to get a sprained wrist checked out—she was one of the medical interns working at the time, and since his case was fairly standard, they sent her his way.

            They hit it off quickly and got along _so_ well that, for a brief period of time, Jake had thought that Abby might be…

            She wasn’t. The day after Jake slept with her for the first time, he sat down next to Marcus in the cafeteria and told him glumly, “Her mark’s cute but it doesn’t match mine.”

            And so Marcus imparted a very important piece of advice: “Fuck the marks and date her anyway.”

            Which is exactly what Jake did. He and Abby grew closer and closer, and the more time Marcus spent around them together, the more he understood why. The two of them bounced off of each other better than anyone Marcus knew, and he couldn’t miss the way that Jake glowed when she was around. They had to be soulmates, Marcus decided. Who cared what fate said?

            Abby and Jake dated for about a year. Primarily due to Jake’s engineering, Marcus spent a lot of time with them. Jake kept on telling Marcus, “I just want to make sure that my best friends love each other.”

            Marcus couldn’t speak for Abby’s opinion of him, but he did grow to love her, just as Jake wanted. She had this confidence in herself that made it essentially impossible to _dislike_ her. He even began to think of her as one of _his_ best friends, too.

            So he was thrilled when Jake pulled him aside one evening during dinner and said, “I’m gonna ask her to marry me.” And even more thrilled when, less than a day later, Jake ran excitedly into Marcus’s quarters and informed him, “She said yes!”

            The next day, Marcus had plans to meet Jake and Abby for lunch to celebrate, but when he arrived in the cafeteria, Jake had not yet gotten off of work. At an earlier point in Jake and Abby’s relationship, Marcus would have probably felt strange sitting down with Abby before Jake had arrived, but as it was, he immediately approached her. “Abby! Congratulations!”

            She jumped at the sound of his voice, but smiled immediately as she saw him and reached out an arm so that they could exchange a half-hug. “Thank you, Marcus! I’m so happy about it.”

            He sat down at the table across from her and asked questions about her work before moving onto other things—had she told her parents about the engagement? Were they excited? How soon were she and Jake looking to get married?

            Jake arrived about five minutes later; Marcus saw him first, watched him scan the room until he found them, at which point they grinned widely at one another.

            “Glad to see you didn’t start to eat without me,” Jake said jokingly as he strode up. He bent down so that he could wrap his arms around Abby and give her a kiss, and she automatically shifted in her seat so that she could reach around and hug him, too.

            Marcus smiled, looking down at the table. A retort was on the tip of his tongue when suddenly he caught sight of something on a patch of exposed skin on Abby’s stomach, just where her shirt was riding up.

            “Oh f—” He stopped himself before he could finish the sentence, turned away so that Jake and Abby could not see his expression.

            “Are you alright, Marcus?” Jake asked, his voice full of concern.

            “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, I just… I just remembered that my mom is trying to trade some things and I told her I’d help her take them in during my lunch hour… I’ll just be… I’ll be back soon, okay?”

            He clambered out of his seat and was gone before he could even hear what Abby and Jake had to say in response.

            Marcus made it back to his quarters in record time. The moment he shut the door, he rushed into the bathroom, rolling up his pants leg in front of the mirror so that he could examine his thigh, just above the knee.

            Abby’s mark was an exact mirror image of his.

            He felt like he was going to vomit. His best friend’s fiancée? Marcus had never had a romantic thought about Abby in his life, and here the universe was telling him that they were soulmates?

            For over ten minutes, Marcus stood in front of the mirror and stared at that mark. He’d always been fond of it, growing up. He thought it looked like the pictures of daisies in the Earth botany book his mother kept around. If daisies were pale brown and didn’t have such even petals, at least.

            But now he felt ashamed. People were supposed to go to any lengths to be with their soulmate once they found out who it was, but she didn’t want him like that, and he didn’t want her. He just wanted to be her friend.

            Standing there in front of the mirror, Marcus said the exact same thing that he told Jake a year earlier: “Fuck the marks.” He said it over and over again, reassuring himself that he’d never believed in soulmates anyway. Finding out that Abby had a birthmark that matched his didn’t mean a fucking thing.

 

\--

 

            Abby was amused to learn that Marcus was absolutely terrified by the very thought of going under the knife.

            It was the day after Clarke’s second birthday when Marcus arrived in Medical, complaining to one of the nurses about a stomachache that had been persisting for a few days. The problem didn’t turn out to be his stomach—it was his appendix, and it needed to go.

            When he found out, he went to Abby immediately.

            “I don’t want to do it,” he told her.

            “Marcus, don’t be ridiculous. I’m sure they told you what could happen if you leave your appendix in. Doesn’t that sound worse?”

            “I don’t want to!” he insisted. “What if I die on the table?”

            Abby let out an exasperated groan. “If you don’t do the surgery, you’ll probably die from a ruptured appendix. Plenty of people wouldn’t even be able to afford this and you’re trying to say that you don’t _want_ it?”

            He frowned, his brow furrowed, and didn’t answer at first. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, he looked up at Abby with a very serious look on his face, meeting her gaze with hesitant but trusting eyes. “Would you do it?”

            “Oh, Marcus, I don’t…” She exhaled loudly. “I’m still mostly observing in surgery, I don’t know if that would be the right call. If you’re nervous, someone with more experience might make you feel more comfortable.”

            Marcus shook his head defiantly. “I want you to do it. You’re the only one I’d trust to do everything in your power to save me if it came down to it.”

            She couldn’t say no to her husband’s best friend. And her best friend, too, she’d sometimes admit to herself. It felt weird to say, because sometimes she got the distinct feeling that Marcus was closer to her than he was with Jake, that he thought he could be more open and honest with her, even though he and Jake had known each other all of their lives. But she couldn’t blame him—there was something about her friendship with him that always had just felt right.

            Which meant that if he wanted her to operate on him, of course she would do it.

            Abby did everything she could to seem calm on the day of the surgery, appearing at Marcus’s bedside with a smile. He smirked at her and grabbed ahold of her hand, squeezing it briefly before letting go. “You don’t have to pretend that you’re not terrified. I’d be more worried if you weren’t.”

            Both Jake and Abby gave Marcus enormous hugs before the nurses wheeled him off to the OR.

            Jake took Abby’s hand to stop her from following, and they lingered at Marcus’s empty bed as he murmured, “You’re going to do great, okay? You might not have the most experience but everyone knows you’re the most talented doctor on the Ark.”

            “That’s just what you and Marcus keep saying,” she argued, but a genuine smile tugged at her lips.

            “Well, maybe I’m paraphrasing,” Jake amended, “but not by much. They’ve told you they see you becoming the senior medical officer someday, Abby. You’ll get Marcus’s appendix out, no problem.”

            She smiled wider and nodded, feeling too nervous to speak.

            He kissed her gently at the crown of her head. “I’ll stick around until you two come out of it, okay?”

            “You’d better!”

            The surgery was the most stressful thing Abby had done in her life, and when she finished, her first instinct was to laugh out of relief. A few times, Marcus’s heart rate had gotten dangerously high, but with the nurses’ help Abby had lowered it easily and kept him on track.

            Jake was asleep in the chair by Marcus’s bed when they came out, and Abby smiled fondly; she’d wake him as soon as she was sure that they’d gotten Marcus settled in, and the two of them could go get something to eat while they waited for Marcus to wake up.

            Abby and one of the nurses worked together to move Marcus from the stretcher to the bed. It was in this moment when his hospital gown shifted and Abby got a glimpse of a birthmark on Marcus’s thigh, just above his knee.

            She dropped his legs unceremoniously and the nurse complained, but Abby hardly heard it. Her ears were ringing as she fumbled for the bottom of his gown and pulled it back over his knees, but she couldn’t forget what she had just seen. The image was burned into her mind, mocking her.

            This was absurd. Why was Marcus the one with the mark that went with hers? What did it mean? What was she supposed to do with this information? She was hardly going to drop everything to be with him—as much as she loved Marcus, she had never been _in love_ with him. Jake was the only one she’d ever felt for so strongly. Jake was the one she wanted around for the rest of her life, not Marcus.

            As Abby glanced from Marcus over to Jake and back, her expression grew cold.

            Maybe the universe thought that she and Marcus would never feel truly fulfilled without each other, but she would prove the universe wrong.

 

\--

 

            After the surgery, Abby began to pick little fights with Marcus. Anything to prompt her to spend less time around him. At first, Jake tried to get out of her what was wrong, but eventually he gave up. He and Marcus began to see each other less as it was, as Marcus became more thoroughly entrenched in the Guard and later the government. Their get-togethers became so rare that it was of little consequence whether Abby and Marcus got along.

            For his part, though, Marcus never understood why Abby had so abruptly distanced herself from him. But her pointed ambivalence grated on him and soon enough, he didn’t want her around anyway.

            He became even more certain that she wasn’t his soulmate after that; he couldn’t imagine that his other half would push him away for no reason.

            By the time they were elected to the Council, Abby and Marcus were purely on passing acquaintance level. It was then that she began to make a point to refer to him only as, “Kane.” It stung every time, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it.

 

\--

 

            Up until the point when Thelonious floated Jake, Abby missed Marcus.

            But then Jake was gone and Marcus was still around and she hated him for it. She hated him for coming to her door when she wasn’t there and leaving behind a jacket that he and Jake had been fighting over since the day she met them—and probably longer than that. She hated him for making sure that Clarke got every meal of every day, when most of the kids in solitary were lucky if they got one.

            She hated that every time she sat across from him at Council meetings, she remembered the time that Jake got him laughing so hard that water came out of his nose and it took her a week and a half before she could remember that moment without having to excuse herself to cry for ten minutes.

            And she hated that she still missed Marcus, even when she was hating him.

 

\--

 

            Marcus had always thought that he would be willing to do anything in his power to keep the people of the Ark alive.

            All of that came into question when he attempted to float Abby.

            He had figured that he could do it. It had been years since they had even attempted to appear civil with one another, and just a few months prior, he had gone along with the Chancellor’s decision to float Jake with no question. He hadn’t been happy about it, and Abby’s agony had hit him hard, too, but he figured that floating her would not be any more difficult.

            But then Abby was standing in the airlock, and Marcus realized quite abruptly that he hadn’t been expecting to get this far. He wanted to make an example of her but somehow he hadn’t connected that with this moment.

            More importantly, he hadn’t made the connection between her death and the countless empty moments that would follow. In the blink of an eye, a life devoid of Abby flashed before him and it didn’t matter that they were hardly on speaking terms—he wasn’t ready to float her and that fact terrified him.

            From deep inside him, he felt a comment bubbling up, a, “Never mind,” or, “I take it back.” Already his mind was racing as he strained to think of excuses: “We need her medical expertise,” seemed the most appropriate and believable.

            Thelonious put a stop to it first, making Marcus look rather foolish, but at least he was able to save face by appearing as though he had maintained his resolve through and through.

            And if he had to see Abby’s renewed hatred for him on her face every time he entered the room… well, that didn’t matter, so long as she was alive.

 

\--

 

            After the bombing, Abby felt a deep, almost overwhelming sadness. She knew intuitively that it was due to the loss of Marcus’s mother. It bothered her a fair amount that she felt it with such intensity because she knew that it was most likely as a result of the bond that they shared.

             She patted him gently on the shoulder when she saw him for the first time after the fact. She gave him a genuine smile and he smiled back and for a moment it was like they were young again. Like they were best friends again.

 

\--

 

            It was when they got down to the ground that Abby began to rethink her idea of soulmates.

            As she allowed herself to grow closer to Marcus again, she was reminded of why they had made such a good pair so long ago—because they’d always step in to point out the shoddy aspects of each other’s fantastical ideas. Their plans had always been best when thought through and picked apart together, and when executed in tandem.

            For the most part, she felt ashamed that she had let the knowledge that Marcus was her soulmate affect her relationship with him. She felt ashamed that she had so abruptly assumed that it would tear her and Jake apart by default if she and Marcus remained friends. In the years that they knew each other before she discovered his mark, Abby had certainly never felt her relationship with Jake threatened by what she had with Marcus. He was the friend that she needed, and if she hadn’t discarded that so quickly, maybe things never would have gotten so unpleasant between them. Hell, Marcus probably thought that she had begun picking fights with him for no reason; she couldn’t blame him for getting bitter.

            If he only knew… if she could only explain how scared she had been.

            She couldn’t do that, though. She imagined the ways he might react when she told him how long ago she had seen his mark and she knew it wouldn’t go over well. And she didn’t want to make things tense again just when they’d begun to feel comfortable together.

            And so she’d let it lie, she’d enjoy their reacquired friendship. Maybe she happened to catch herself appreciating his figure a fair bit more than she ever had before. Maybe she tossed and turned her nights away from the moment he left up until the moment he returned from the Grounder camp. But if she did, no one had to know.

 

\--

 

            If Lincoln didn't get rid of the shooter soon, Marcus was going to die. Abby _had_ to get him above ground.

            Both she and Marcus knew this, although they talked around it for as long as possible. Abby even confessed to him that Clarke had known about the missile—anything to get his attention away from the rubble that had partially buried him.

            Despite her noblest attempts, though, Marcus’s talk got increasingly dreary as he felt weaker. Abby waited at his side, feeling rather useless without her equipment.

            “Abby?” he said. His throat was so dry that it came out as a hoarse whisper.

            “What is it, Marcus?”

            He chuckled, though it essentially sounded like a quiet cough. “I noticed you’ve started calling me that again. I missed it.”

            She smiled sadly; it wasn’t like he’d be able to see it, so she didn’t bother to fake it and appear happier. “Me too,” she told him honestly. Yes, she had missed him, no matter how much she tried to stop herself from doing so.

            A brief patch of silence, and then: “I want to tell you something,” he said slowly. “Just… just in case Lincoln doesn’t get the sniper in time.”

            “Don’t talk like that,” Abby instructed.

            Marcus let out another chuckle-cough. “I will talk like that. This is important, alright?”

            “Alright.” If she didn’t know any better, she’d think he was getting ready to tell her that they were soulmates.

            “You might… find this hard to believe,” he started. He took a deep, shuddering breath before he could continue. “But the day after you and Jake got engaged, I found out something kind of big.”

            Quite suddenly, Abby found that she was having difficulty breathing. As it was, all she could get out was, “What?”

            “I… um. You and I have matching birthmarks.”

            The first words that come out of Abby’s mouth are: “I know.”

            Marcus spluttered. “You know?”

            “You’ve known since Jake and I _got engaged_?”

            “How long have _you_ known?” He’d raised his voice now—although admittedly, he was in such poor condition that even his strained shouting came out to little more than a whisper.

            She shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat. “I saw yours when I took out your appendix.”

            “Oh.” Marcus hesitated. “Is that why you—”

            “Yes.”

            He was silent for long enough that Abby was beginning to worry that he’d fallen asleep, and that she’d have to scream and shout to wake him up. But then: “When we get out of here…” She was relieved that he wasn’t talking about dying as an inevitability anymore, even if it was very likely. “We’re talking about this.”

            “Okay.”

 

\--

 

            Marcus was the first person that Abby attended to once they got out, but he was the last one to wake up. After she finished patching up the last Grounder, she lingered by Marcus’s bedside all night. The combined anxiety over his recovery and the march on Mount Weather made it impossible for her to sleep.

            So, when he finally did stir, the rush of relief that she felt was overwhelming. He opened his eyes and the warmth that she saw in them as he turned to look at her was even more remarkable.

            “Glad to see you didn’t operate and run,” he mumbled. “Don’t think I could have handled that more than once.”

            Abby smiled and looked down at her lap. “I shouldn’t have reacted by pushing you away. That’s something I regretted every day. I told myself it was because of how gutted Jake clearly was that I’d developed a dislike of you for no apparent reason, but really I just missed you.”

            “Why didn’t you think you could tell me that our marks matched?”

            “I could ask you the same question.” She looked back up at Marcus and tried to suppress the irritation that she knew was coming through in her voice.

            He shifted in his bed, sitting up so that he could look at her straight on. “Well, you know I’d always thought that ‘soulmate’ stuff was bull shit. So when I saw your mark, I figured that if anything, it just meant that we were destined to become friends. I certainly didn’t see myself as a threat to what you and Jake had. But I knew you believed in it, so I guess I didn’t tell you because I thought you’d react… basically the way you did.”

            “But Marcus, from the way everyone always talks about soulmates… no one ever shares a mark with someone they were just destined to be _friends_ with.”

            “True,” he agreed. “But I’ve thought about it a lot, and I think everyone’s wrong.”

            Abby blinked at him. “You’ve just decided this? Alright, go on, explain.”

            “People acknowledge that soulmates don’t always hit it off right away, right? Or maybe they spend a while as friends first. But wasn’t that probably destined, too? And if some soulmates are better off as friends when they first meet, why shouldn’t there be some that are just friends for their whole lives? I don’t think the type of relationship is the part that matters.”

            “What matters, then?”

            “Whether you value their happiness above everything else. Whether you value their life above everything else. A few months ago, when I…” He swallowed nervously, and even though Abby was almost positive she knew where he was going with this, she waited for him to proceed. “When I tried to float you, I thought I was doing what was best for the people of the Ark. And I figured that if Thelonious could float Jake, I would be able to float you.”

            He fell silent, and Abby realized suddenly that she was holding her breath. She exhaled and leaned forward in her chair. “But?” The word came out in a whisper, like she was afraid that speaking would break some sort of spell.

            “But the moment I put you in the airlock, I wanted to take it back. I would have, if Thelonious hadn’t stepped in. That was the moment I knew without a doubt that you _are_ my soulmate. I didn’t care if you hated me, I didn’t care about _what_ type of relationship we had, so long as I knew you were alive and well.”

            Abby’s heart was pounding in her chest. “That would sound so romantic if it weren’t about the time you nearly killed me.”

            Marcus leaned his head back and shut his eyes, letting out a huff. “I suppose it would. I’m not trying to be romantic, though, just honest. I don’t want to pretend that I didn’t try to float you. I just want to really be your friend again.”

            Something about the statement made Abby’s stomach churn. No, not something—she knew exactly which part. It was just that since coming down to Earth, she’d thought maybe they were headed toward something more.

            Well. Perhaps she was wrong. Perhaps Marcus was right, and they were just destined to be _friends_.

            “Yeah,” she agreed. “Being friends would be good.”

 

\--

 

            When Marcus and Abby were among the group that was captured by the Mountain Men, Marcus thought that was the worst it could get. But then the president’s asshole son decided to put Abby on the table.

            He shouted at the top of his lungs, sprouting off propositions so fast that it probably sounded like nonsense, but he was completely ignored. He had no choice but to look on as they drilled into the leg of the woman he loved more than anyone else in the world, as she clenched her fists and screamed in agony.

            They had only just cleared the air between them; she couldn’t die _now_. Marcus hadn’t even gotten up the nerve to say…

            Maybe he should have come right out and told her that he didn’t want to be _just friends_. He’d been planning on breaching the subject gently but because of that, there was a fair chance that he would never get to tell her.

            It seemed like a miracle when the doctor stopped, although Marcus became aware almost immediately that it was most likely Clarke’s doing—before their eyes, all of the Mountain Men who hadn’t received the marrow treatments died as radiation flooded the room.

            Everything moved in flashes after that. He didn’t even process who unchained him; all he knew was that as soon as he was free, he had to run over that table and help Abby. He sprinted to her side, unbuckling her restraints and muttering the words, “It’s all okay now,” over and over until they lost their meaning. He wasn’t sure whether it was for her benefit or his own.

           

\--

 

            They’d almost made it all the way to Camp Jaha when Abby looked up at the man who’d been walking determinedly next to her stretcher on the entire trek from Mount Weather. “Marcus.”

            He immediately met her gaze, his eyes full of worry. “Yes?”

            “I think you’re right. You and I were destined to become friends when I met Jake.”

            “You think so?” All of his concern left his features in an instant, replaced by a look of… calm, of ease.

            She nodded. “But also, I think… I think I might want more, now.” She trailed off so that it nearly sounded like a question.

            But Abby need not have been worried, because Marcus’s expression turned into one of full-blown relief. He let out a long, drawn-out sigh and reached for her hand. “I’d love that,” he said gently.

            Abby felt speechless. The corners of her mouth tugged up into a smile, and she said the only thing she could muster, “Okay.”

            Marcus held her hand tightly for the rest of the walk, only letting go when they reached the medical tent so that she could be placed in one of the beds. Almost as soon as they arrived, she began to feel drowsy, her exhaustion from the past few days hitting her all at once.

            “Sit with me up here,” she requested, when he went to settle into the chair beside her bed.

            He immediately glanced over to Jackson, who was fussing over Raven a few beds down. Abby laughed, though she cringed at the effect it had on her very sore body. “He won’t say anything.”

            So he perched on the bed with her and she leaned into him at once, using his chest as a pillow. “Please stay,” she whispered.

            “I’m not going anywhere.”

            Marcus’s pulse pounded through his veins, his heart beating in sync with Abby’s. As she drifted off, he was certain that he’d never felt more at peace in his life.          


End file.
